Recently I have been focusing solely on Physio with the view to finally get off the walking stick permanently, and to come off painkiller medication permanently too. But following months and months of intensive Physio weekly at the local Hospital, I have realized this is simply not possible, nor will it ever be possible while PAIN is at the forefront of my mind 24/7. I can’t escape it, it’s dulling my senses, spoiling my will to live and rots any happiness I dare to have. In October the Surgeon is expecting me to decide whether or not I will have Hip Replacements or not, and I think I’ve decided NOT, for now anyways.I can’t face anymore Surgeries and Recoveries, as for the last 7yrs have been nothing but Surgeries and Recoveries. It’s time to try and live like a ‘Normie’ for once!! Plus my Physiotherapist recommends I do at least another 1yr of weekly intensive Physio and then decide. But that’s all well and good, but PAIN is always there, like a bad smell, hanging over me, fogging my mind and depressing me.
So I either accept that Tramadol will have to be a permanent fixture daily, this is just to simply move around doing daily living chores like most people take for granted. Or don’t take them and accept that I’m never ever just going to be able to pop outside to shop with friends, or visit a cinema etc… with PAIN looming over my head. So I’ve decided that Tramadol it is, as even this doesn’t actually remove the Pain, more like it simply helps me deal with it and not focus on it as much. I tried Codeine but that doesn’t sit well on my stomach, it gives me crippling cramps, and makes me feel sick. Ibuprofen and Paracetamol are not strong enough and I’ve tried these many times to no avail.
I try to walk without a walking stick as much as I can, without loosing form. But as soon as I feel myself waddling a bit, I whip the stick out, as it’s not worth forming bad habits and undoing the great work the Physiotherapist has done with me. So to do walking without aids I HAVE to resort to Tramadol. So thats where I am with my recovery so far. Metal was removed in Feb 2015 and 7mths post op I’m not exactly where I want to be, but nor am I where I was, so it’s all progress……
Recently following a good ole moan fest on a Hippie page on Facebook, a lady recommended RADIO FREQUENCY DENERVATION as I was complaining that structurally my hips are fabulous, but painwise they hinder any progress, so if I could remove the pain, I’m sure I could progress faster and stronger, and build on my stamina. So I’m going to ask the Surgeon about it. As far as I can gather they put you under anesthetic and with an xray to guide them, they use an small instrument to insert at the Pelvis and burn/freeze off the nerve endings in the offending area, and it can give you a possible pain free 2mths to 3yrs time, surely this has to be worth looking into?! Or even asking about Anti-Epileptic medication such as Gabapentin to help block the nerve pain and thus giving me more freedom to workout the joint without fear of aggravating the joint and suffering for days and days on end afterwards.
So thats me at the moment, I’m great and not great all at the same time!! My mind says Go Go Go my body says NO No No and it’s frustrating and depressing. Back in 2009 when I had the first REAL serious Triple Pelvis Ost and Femur Ost I never thought for one minute I would be still sat with the same pain driving me insane, and still using a walking stick. I’m down 8 surgeries and it still nags like a Bi@tch!! Still time is a great healer they say, and in surgery terms it is still early days at 7mts post op, so a lot can and will happen in 1year. But I think it pays to be honest about your expectations and be realistic as to what is really achievable following these surgeries. Yes I am a LOT better than I was in 2009, but I have issues still and different things are thrown into the mix, that I was never prepared for. Looking back I would do it all the same again, as really honestly I have no choice but to try and gain my life back painfree and limpfree.